Letís Twist Again, Like We Did Last Summer
by Drew, the Big Brother Cynic
Hey everybody. Please throw me a bone and disregard everything that has happened on the live feeds since the first episode; I
would never get to finish this article if I had to wait for all of the dust to settle. Iím sure that Iíll have plenty to say
about Evel Dick once I see the next few episodes. But for now, letís move on to the article that I was planning to write up
until I read the OvernighterÖ
My TiVo stopped recording before I saw all of the credits, but Iím pretty sure that last nightís premiere episode of Big
Brother was written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. As Julie unveiled twist after twist after twist, the game started to
look less and less like the reality show that I want to watch and more and more like knockoff walking that fine line between
homage and copyright infringement.
But reality shows donít make it to season 13 without doing something right, so for now I
shall simply bite my tongue, give benefit of the doubt to good people at Viacom and dive into this seasonís twists.
After 12 seasons, everybody comes in to the Big Brother house with some sort of strategy in mind, and I canít fault the
producers for throwing a curveball here. And, if season 11ís cliques taught us anything, itís that the partnerships will
be dissolved sooner rather than later (presumably once we have a top 10 and Ė thanks to The Golden Key Ė only three pairs
left intact). So I can keep an open mind about this one.
On the other hand, if I had my druthers I would definitely be using the power of veto on this twist. As a rule, I am
against anything that feels like an unfair advantage. And allowing three pairs of veterans Ė pairs that have existing
relationships AND who knew going in that they would be working in pairs Ė smells a bit funny to me. Jeff and Jordan are
engaged and arenít going to turn on each other, but Keith (who I just feel bad for every time he opens his mouth) and
Porsche (whose parents pretty much dictated that she would be a waitress with a boob job when they named her) probably
will. Yes, the newbies outnumber the veterans and should be able to get rid of them in short order, but letís see whatís
behind door number threeÖ
The Golden Key
You donít need to be Woodward and Bernstein to dig up the networkís logic behind this new wrinkle in the game. Once the powers
that be were finished patting themselves on the back for deciding to revisit some of Big Brotherís most famous and infamous
duos, one bright-eyed young intern Ė in my head, heís serving chai like the Slumdog Millionaire kid Ė said, ďyeah, but what
happens when Brendon and Rachel and eliminated in the first two weeks?Ē
And thus, The Golden Key was born. Get rid of Brendon and youíre stuck with Rachel for a least a few more weeks. Send Evel
Dick home and youíve guaranteed that the best-POV player in Big Brother history will be in the top 10. So at least three
members of the top 10 will emerge from the group of veterans that the brass can count on for drama.
Iím way over 500 words (and should probably start doing my actual job at some point this morningÖ), so letís skip to the
bottom line. I have yet to see a twist on Big Brother that has been a really good idea: the cliques were eradicated almost
immediately (when two Popular houseguests were the first two eliminated), the fan-awarded Coup d'ťtat pretty much stole
$500,000 from Jessie and Iím pretty sure CBS has destroyed all evidence that last seasonís saboteur failure ever happened.
So while Iím trying to keep an open mind, Iím also counting the days until the top 10, when it looks like weíll get back to a
good old fashioned, drama-filled season of Big Brother.